Non-monogamy

Monogamy and the concept of the ‘nuclear family’ are historical relics. Not inherently wrong, but neither are they a timeless universal truth we must all uphold.

Human societies started off polyamorous, with communal child-rearing, and existed that way for most of what we can call human history. Around 10,000 years ago, the appearance of private ownership also created the need to track property for the purposes of inheritance. Marriage and the marital contract were born. 

In other words, it became necessary to control people’s sexual behaviour. As birth control was virtually non-existent, any offspring outside the marriage would threaten inheritance with unwanted claimants. It was therefore of paramount importance not only to legally enforce marriage, but to culturally condition humans that the ‘nuclear family’ is the only way to live together. The one significant variation - polygamy - was still all about protecting the male, the patriarch, and controlling inheritance through his bloodline.

However, humans never bought into the idea that sex is only for procreation. How could they? They have been struggling with this concept, or outright rejecting it from the beginning. Fast forward to today, with gender equality being a thing, modern marriages, civil partnerships, single parenting etc, and the idea of monogamy safe-guarding inheritance seems absurdly outdated. A relic. 

It is no wonder, therefore, that at a time when people are questioning all socioeconomic and sociopolitical structures, when we’re slowly accepting the idea that all things human exist on some spectrum or other, we are also questioning monogamy and the nuclear family. 

Enter consensual non-monogamy and not so much re-inventing as re-imagining human relationships.